A couple of days ago a friend of mine introduced me to an acquaintance. I think I first got talked to the acquaintance over phone but I do not remember it now. Very soon the acquaintance broached a topic which, I guess now, was what he got introduced to me for in the first place. Before I realized, I had said "Yes" to be part of a plan to plant a bomb on 26th January somewhere - Again I do not remember but I get reminded of Delhi. Again I don't know why.
Now that I think about it, I think I said Yes for the money. I do not see any other reason. Yes, I do have complaints against the state but I am sure Terrorism or even Naxalism is not the answer. In many cases, they do come up in response to some conditions created by the state but they are not the answer. Coming back to my case, once I had started, I had a partner. Both of us were going to do accomplish the task together. I remember traveling and in a very surreptitious way (now when I look back it does not look surreptitious at all) two cell phones were given to each of us. I remember thinking what will I tell Ipshita, my wife. What excuse will I tell her about the cell phone because telling her about the plan was out of question.
In a sudden realization of the enormity of my action and the one-sided nature of the path I was taking, I developed cold-feet. It was as if suddenly I had woken up from a dream to realize that I had taken a decision to plant a bomb and now I was stuck with my decision. Any deviation from the current plan would not be a simple "desist and restrain" order.
I started thinking about how the police and other agencies have the wherewithal to trace such people - people like me. Not to forget that I started thinking of the number of people who would be killed by such an action. I realized that I should go to the police now. I will tell them about the plan and that I have no idea how I came to join this plan. I knew that I may have to spend sometime in prison and also become a one-day star of the 24x7 breaking news soap drama. That thought was definitely unnerving because I knew how media had a habit of discussing everything except the news. I also remembered how in real life I used to write about issues in the society and how on hearing about this action of mine, all that would be discredited and my intentions would be suspected. Time was literally running out. I knew that the people who had recruited me into the plan would not really be happy hearing I had copped out. I decided to go the police.
I did not know what would happen from there. Torture! Arrest! Parade in full media view! Court cases! I could feel the sweat breaking on my head. It was then, fortunately and thankfully, that I woke up. To the happy realization that I am still a simple man not yet entangled in anything even close to what terrorism is or represents or is a product of. I immediately woke up and told my wife about the dream. She tried to be a good listener but the sleep was overpowering. I wanted to share this on this blog because the sense of relief that I got when I woke up to realize all this was a dream was a sense of relief that I am not living a life that many others are living as I write. Hope this means something to us.