Urinators Infinity - The Stinking Day

Another lazy...oh sorry it is Friday....exciting morning..and I am off to my dear 6th floor office for my daily bout of coffee binge and office gossip when I see this strange creature standing near Country Club, with his back towards me. He is standing akimbo with one hand jutting out and I cannot see the other hand. I am struck with a feeling of serendipity. I have seen such an organism somewhere. Where..? Where..? Where..? Leave it, I do not want to start my day using the most atrophied part of my body...my brain. So I deem it prudent to approach the creature and get acquainted. In this Dog-eat-Cat-eat-Mouse-eat-Bedsheet world of cut-throat competition, networking is really important and I do not want to leave any stone unturned to extend my network; so I walk up to him to start a conversation. As I come closer, I am overwhelemed by a really obnoxious smell and I need to cover my nose, which actually is a form of psychological consolation because I am still breathing, and not through my mouth. And seems like with my nose covered, my brains work better, I can faintly remember who this guy is.

Me: Now don't take this the wrong way, but you are a Urinator, right?
Urinator: Yes. Indian Stench Systems, Model 420...
Me: You're like a filthy pig underneath, right? But sort of human outside?
Urinator: I'm a shameless ungrateful organism. Dead civic sense cells over a metal osseous tissue.
Me: This is gross. Get a grip, mere bhai. OK, uhm, you're not here to make us feel proud. I figured that part out for myself, seeing your actions. So what's the deal?
Urinator: My mission is to urinate at all places populated by human beings.
Me: Yeah? Who gave you the right to do that?
Urinator: I need no right. Sixty years back from now, the great leaders got us independence and with that independence came full freedom to do whatever I want.
Me: This is deep...shit
{Change of scene: Now I am trying hard to slow down my breathing considering there are other Urinators who have lined up against the wall to assert their freedom; continuing the conversation....}
Me: So this other organism who spits on the road ? He's a Urinator like you, right?
Urinator: Not like me. A Spitfire-1024. Not as advanced as me though he has some advantages. He does not need a corner to function. He can spit on anyone and anything - roads, buses, trains, AIR, PEOPLE - anything. He can spit red beetel juice or the plain vanilla saliva. But we are trying to evolve with each passing generation. Earlier we could only function (read urinate) in secluded places and had to be on the lookout. Nowadays, the more evolved ones among us can defecate and urinate with impunity without a strain of guilt. You wanna convert? I am a urin-angelist for the Urinator clan.
Me: ..........(I just flee from there before I can be brainwashed into converting my country into a stinking hell)


So I am jolted from my train of thoughts by this autorickshaw which nudges at me asking me to move aside, let vehicles pass and 'enjoy' the scene of the public urinal in my own space.

I just think why all this worry about India's safety and its strategy of defence against great nuclear powers. Our enemies just have something called Uranium which is just a raw material. We have a full fledged Urinator legion ready to turn any civilization into a public lavatory. They cannot be quarantined or contained. Urinators will work in two ways. Our land will become useless to the conquerors because of the stench and at a later stage the so called 'conquerors' will realise that theirs was a pyrrhic victory since this time they will be on the run to save their piece of land which our Urinators would have set their sights on :-).

I can hear one Urinator telling me "Hey !@#$%, #$%^ off, I love my country, Jai Hind !"

Credits: Terminator Dialogue taken from Wikipedia


  1. Point to be notified and argued upon in years to come like it has always been...
    its not only Charity...but learning etiquettes also begin from home. May this next generation be smart enough (or should i say "Responsible") to give us a different impression of living clean, punctual & honest life.

    Einstein once said, learn from ur parents, treasure ur learnings, make ur additions and pass the baton to ur little ones...hope he meant only learning all the good things.

  2. heh.. i really enjoyed reading this... good stuff!
    c'est la vie

  3. Wonderful article I must say to enlighten… however if only they could read for whom it’s aimed. Of late though I have seen the govt. has taken certain initiatives of building urinals here and there for such an emergency but its really pathetic(I wish there was a worst word than this) to see that still; people pee on the road side and make it tough for others like me to suffocate out of the stink. On my route` to the Begumpet railway station I have to literally cover my face to avoid it and end up cursing the culprits.

    I wonder at times, when our country would penalize someone sternly on the grounds of spitting on roads, urinating, defecating, & littering here and there.... Are they allergic to a tidy surrounding?? Why is it that other nations have better control on this and our nation is lagging behind??

    I think this issue seriously demands attention as I am sure none of us would want our country to be a laughing stock because of this at least.